I was on vacation in Las Vegas in December 2012 after the fall semester of my junior year of college. I was wearing a long sleeve lime green shirt, bright denim jeans and a navy blue blazer. While getting ready to go to a casino, I noticed my waistline was larger, my thighs were bigger, love handles showing through my shirt and the back fat was being displayed despite my wearing a blazer. I couldn't believe that person in the mirror was me! I couldn't even remember where all of the weight came from. Then I remembered all the times I went to McDonald's before class for breakfast, the Waffle House trips, the late night junk food when I was studying, more junk food for dinner and lunch. Do I even need to mention weekends with my friends? I wasn't paying attention to what I was eating. Yeah, I did the occasional workout and I thought that was enough to balance out my food choices. I didn't even notice the weight gain because I was wearing hoodies, big t-shirts, or sweatpants most of the time. I couldn't tell that my clothes didn't look good on me anymore.
I remember feeling disgusted, disappointed, angry and a little depressed. Disgusted because I couldn't look in the mirror without hating myself. Disappointed because I had no one to blame but myself for my weight gain. Angry because I wish someone had told me (kindly) to exercise more or suggest healthier food items. Depressed because it damaged my self-esteem, I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. I couldn't jump into another body or snap my fingers and lose weight. I felt like I lost control over everything. At this time I was having academic issues and questioning my own potential and future. The last thing I needed to feel bad about was my body. I wasn't happy, in fact, it was the first time I'd felt truly unhappy.
So, I told myself, like I had told myself many times before, that I'd start eating better and exercising regularly once the New Year began. I said this time, its going to be different. I've seen my weight go up and down since I was in middle school and I couldn't keep living like that.
Once the New Year came around, I did some research on how to lose weight and keep it off and how to ease myself into the weight loss process. I found Erika Nicole Kendall's website, "A Black Girl's Guide to Weight loss." Kendall's website had an answer to nearly question I had: food, exercise, self-esteem, and how weight loss changes your life. Her own story motivated me to take my health seriously. Her website changed my life! But I knew I couldn't simply just read her advice, I eventually had to act on it. So, I decided to sign up for a 5k race that would take place the following February. I figured if I paid for a race, I'm going to train for it. The next day, I went to the park and walked and ran 2 miles. I wanted to cut my legs off the following morning. That same week, I threw away any and all bad junk food in my apartment and wrote a grocery list for cleaner foods such as fruits, veggies and whole grains. I researched healthy recipes and dedicated myself to cooking at home more often.
February came and I finished my first race, a 5k, 3.1 miles in 43 minutes. I was on a runner's high, I was proud, and I wanted to run another race -- and that was the moment I knew everything changed. This time really was different. I was going to keep going and never look back unless it was to see how far I'd come. I was transforming into a new person and I couldn't be anymore excited.
Oh. I never mentioned how much I weighed when I started my journey. Well, I was 245 pounds. Now? Well, I'll share that in another post about the scale being your worst enemy. However, you can certainly guess how much weight I've lost based on my progress photos below.
Everyone has to start somewhere. Losing weight is not a sprint, its a marathon. It's also a lifestyle change, but its a lifestyle that improves every aspect of your life. Even though I'm not at my goal weight or jean size, I've come so far. I think about the girl in the mirror every now and then, and that keeps me motivated and on the right path. It sounds so cliche to say, but never give up, it's all worth it. Even slow progress is still progress, which is always better than nothing.
Until next time,
Nubian Nerdy Fit Girl
My Progress Photos from when I was heaviest--2011/2012 to January 2014.
After my first race in February 2013. There was a medal and t-shirt involved! I felt like accomplished something huge!
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