Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Bathing Suit Blues



Hello Everyone!

Alright, its that time of year! Summer is here! Well, technically, its still spring, but it feels like summer. It's also beach weather, which means its time to bust out the bathing suits. Whoo hoo, right? Nah. Not over here. I have major issues when it comes to wearing bathing suits and I try to work on them every year.

But --

This summer was supposed to be different.

This summer I was going to strut my stuff even if I didn't have flat abs.

This summer I was going to rock a bikini even with some flab on my back and belly.

This summer I was going to walk tall despite my tiger stripes (stretch marks).

However now, at this moment, I don't feel like I should strut, rock or walk tall in a bikini. I feel like I need to cover myself, hide in a one piece and a t-shirt.  Truth is, I'm scared. While I feel like I'm in the best shape I've ever been, I don't have my flat abs, I still have back flab and my tiger stripes still cover nearly every inch of my body. What exactly am I afraid of? Others peoples' opinions? How do I view myself? I tend to view myself as a beautiful human being, especially with regular clothes on. How can I possibly preach and give advice on health and fitness when I don't have the perfect beach body? Isn't that hypocritical?

The funny thing about this dilemma is, I know I shouldn't have anything to be afraid of. If no one likes my stretch marks, that's not my problem. They're permanent, and I can't do anything about them except embrace them. If people have a problem with my back fat and belly pouch, that's not my problem. And, I'm working on toning my body and having success, therefore I feel comfortable giving advice on how to live a healthy lifestyle. I know confidence in myself is key to rocking any bathing suit and I need to have that same confidence as if I were wearing regular clothes. I know all of those things.

What I found even more interesting is that last year, I wasn't this scared. I proudly wore my bikini and I was in worse shape last year, but had been exercising and eating right for at least 5 or 6 months and was really excited to wear a bikini. What's my issue now? Did I expect too much of myself to look like a SI model and probably disappointed I don't look like one (yet)? Am I still worried how I'll be perceived? Or is it just cold feet that I'll get over once my toes touch the sand?

What are your thoughts? Comment below or tweet to me @FemmePolitique on twitter.

Thanks for reading!

Talk to you soon,

The Nubian Nerdy Fit Girl



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